Land Ahoy!! The Sea legs blog day 4

I was woken this morning by a blast on the fog horn at 0715. Out on the balcony the fog was like looking in to a wall of grey-white. Even the still-calm sea, nine decks below was in a grey haze. Every now and then, you could catch glimpses of the Spanish coast; points of hills drifted out of the mist then back in again.

Today it’s Gibraltar, a spit of Britain trapped between Spain and Africa, one of the last remaining specks of pink on that 1950s map I had at school, before the Empire was returned to its rightful owners to do with as they please….

First impressions of Gibraltar were not good; the stench from the harbour after three days at sea was bad. They say sailors can smell land before they can see it; this I now believe!

We walked in to a town centre, crowded with tourists and many shops had signs welcoming our cruise liner. Spanish, not English seemed to be the spoken language of choice here, but the shops and road signs were all in English. In fact you could have been in a small English town, with Marks, BHS and Next all prominent.

The queue for the Gondola up the Rock snaked round the corner, so we took a 25 Euro minibus tour instead. Good choice!

You remember James Burke the manic Tomorrow’s World presenter?

“Look at this, look at that, look at me!”

Well I think he planned the tour.

Eight of us bundled in to a minibus and John, our Gibraltarian driver took off up the precipitous road up the rock like Jason Button. We screeched up behind a queue of similar minibuses and were bundled out.

“Gibraltar, British colony for 300 years…Official language English but we speak also Spanish and also our own dialect, Spanglish……(giggle)

“Over in distance you see Atlas mountains – Africa”

“Ten minutes………………. you take photos..................... come back to bus”

We did as instructed then took off again up the road to the Upper Rock to come screeching to a halt behind another line of minibuses.

“Now.......we do famous Gibraltar caves…….. Discovered by Roman soldiers, equipped as hospital during WW2 ……. Too damp for wounds to heal, never got used…….

'Now concert hall, lots of lovely Stalagmites!!!

“15-20 minutes then I collect you by exit”

John’s description did not do these caves justice, they really were spectacular, the rock formations like gigantic organ pipes from floor to ceiling, and the main cavern like some gigantic Gaudi-Inspired Cathedral.

Out in to the blinding light and heat, and back in to the bus.

“Now we go see Barbary Apes”

Up behind another line of taxis and out in to the heat, and, you guessed it …

“Ten minutes………………. you take photos..................... come back to bus”

Well I have to say that the Barbary Apes are cute, sitting there with their babies, but I couldn’t help making the comparison with the Albanian beggars we saw all those years ago in Montenegro. They sit there with their beautiful sad faces looking up to you and staring; seemingly oblivious to tourists shoving cameras in their faces and cooing. These apes are as tame as those in a zoo and just as dependent for food on the British army (whose job it is to feed them) as their cousins at Whipsnade are on their keepers.

“Back on the Bus please!”

That was the end of our time on the top of the rock, and we hurtled down for our final stop, the 14^th Century Moorish tower.

“Ten minutes!……………….you know the rest…!”

Back to the town, hand over the 50 bucks and out in to the shops again.

While we were up the Rock we missed all the fun in the High St.

Outside Swarovski Jewelers was a mass of yellow tape, Bobbies in pointed helmets and men in those blue paper suits, rubber gloves and boot covers that you see on “Waking the Dead” and similar cop shows.

CSI Gibraltar (yes it DID say that on the side of their van) were out in force.

We had missed an armed robbery…..damn! It would have been at least as much fun as the visit to the Moorish tower……..!