The Sea legs blog, Blog Day 1

Check in was a well organized friendly experience. No grumpies, just helpful people. This is a US-run ship after all and, say what you like about the Septics, they do know how to do customer service!

Once on board, it was all a bit overwhelming! The ship is the size of a large hotel, 15 decks and a quarter of a mile long. A crew compliment of 1400 and nearly 4000 passengers.

No sign of deck quoits or Kenneth Williams/Barbara Windsor style fitness classes on the poop deck yet, I’m pleased to say , and the ship’s surgeon DOES NOT look like James Robertson Justice……. ……Left hand down a bit……

The compulsory safety drill was run by a nice Italian-American girl with a voice that sounded if she’d been secretly sniffing Helium round the corner before she started the routine. We were lined up and registered at our muster stations and were shown how to don our lifejackets. The orchestra were briefed on what would be appropriate to play as we headed for the lifeboats, and the “How to crawl over a granny to get there first” drill was practiced.

A Mrs Patel (77) from Cleckheaton volunteered to be the designated granny for this trip.

So briefed, off to explore the ship! A main promenade, looking like a cross between a shopping mall and a Las Vegas casino, runs up the centre of the ship on deck 5. There you can buy designer goods, costume jewelry and expensive watches, or just chill in bars and coffee shops.

There is round the clock entertainment, pools, basketball, rock climbing ands ice skating, and even a surf pool. The expression “Butlins on steroids” springs to mind!

There’s a Fitness suite is full of top notch equipment and the usual collection of sweaty trendies in dodgy headbands and lycra shorts.

If that is all too much, we have our own private balcony where we can just sit and read and watch the waves go past at a smooth 18 knots. We are currently somewhere off Brittany heading across the Bay of Biscay; onwards round the Iberian peninsular to Gibraltar.

Today’s itinerary is a cosmetics workshop for Vicki, “Glamorous evening makeup” while I write this blog, then lunch. This will be followed by “Secrets to a Flatter stomach” in the fitness centre, (apparently this does not involve missing lunch) and tenpin bowling in the Pyramid lounge at 4pm……………

No sign of a Hawaiian bar yet, I’m pleased to say, but I am reliably informed that there is a “sexiest men’s legs competition” later but, as I’ve not been issued with my “sea legs” yet I will not be entering today.